


Observations on KOTLC

by VolkswagenPanda



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VolkswagenPanda/pseuds/VolkswagenPanda
Summary: In honor of book 8.5, I will be providing commentary on all of the Keeper of the Lost Cities books! Starting with book one, here are all the plot holes, references, and general strange bits in the series. Rated T cause I'm nervous.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	Observations on KOTLC

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was originally going to be “Everything Wrong with KotLC”, but I found some other things to talk about that I thought were funny. Warning: some of the plot holes, unexplained situations, and general weirdness might be explained later in the series. I am not 100% familiar with the books so please cut me a little slack. I’m not going to go back and fix them, though, since it would mess up the numbers.
> 
> To clarify, I'm not hating on the series or any of the characters. This is all a joke, so please don't take it too seriously. 
> 
> Without any further ado, let’s start with book one, Keeper of the Lost Cities!

Keeper of the Lost Cities: PREFACE:

1\. She assumes she’s a hostage because her arms are tied up, even though there are other explanations for her situation.

2\. Do sedatives even smell sweet?

3\. It drops like 4 names in quick succession. Black Swan, Moonlark, Everblaze, and Fitz.

4\. IT SAYS HIS EYES ARE AQUAMARINE. His eyes are teal. (And I hate that I know this.)

5\. She didn’t “notice” him in the museum, he was stalking her.

6\. Why was Fitz her first friend ever? What about her sister? Or like, idk, some kid once?

7\. This preface spoils everything tbh.

Keeper of the Lost Cities: CHAPTER 1:

8\. Her teacher pulled out SOPHIE'S earbuds. That’s an invasion of her privacy.

9\. Also it would hurt her.

10\. Also it was in front of the entire class.

11\. He then insults her by calling her “too smart”????

12\. She’s at a museum, which involves walking around a lot. Why are her eyes closed?

13\. Why do her classmates care if she was listening to music?

14\. Doesn’t tell us what she was listening to.

15\. She says she wishes she could hide behind her *shoulder-length* hair. Um, you can?

16\. Why didn’t Sophie homeschool?

17\. Why didn’t she do online school?

18\. What class of high school seniors goes to a SCIENCE MUSEUM???

19\. wouldn’t music add to the noise, not cancel it out? They’re not noise cancelling headphones, they’re earbuds. And it shouldn’t help with her mental voices anyways since they’re not normal sound.

20\. Never explained if mental voices are on the same wavelength as actual sound.

21\. What 5-year-old would keep that a secret?!?!!?

22\. She called herself a freak

23\. The dinosaur is orange

24\. Are lambeosaurus ‘s even different than other dinosaurs?

25\. Are they even real???

26\. Why did she need a photographic memory for this? She could have just read Mr. Sweeney’s mind.

27\. Again, why do the other students hate her? I would think she would be like the pet of the class, or ignored.

28\. “The Curvebuster” sounds so wrong

29\. Her teacher called her a know-it-all

30\. Why didn’t sophie follow Mr. Sweeney? She’s going to get lost

31\. WALLS INTERCEPT MENTAL NOISE???????????

32\. Rando other kid calls her “superfreak”. Are we in 4th grade?

33\. What kind of a name is Garwin?

34\. His shirt. Why?? He’s a high school senior. Not only that, but one who applied for YALE.

35\. He shoved her? Child abuse, anyone?

36\. Why does he think the media would care if she answered a question about a dinosaur?

37\. How does he know about her scholarship?

38\. How does she know about his rejection letter?

39\. Again. She could take online college.

40\. Her parents could move to wherever Yale is (sorry im stupid lol. New York??) with her, so they could live together

41\. How did the reporter find out what college she was planning on going to?

42\. Honestly, why do the newspapers even care about her that much?? I know a guy who went to COLLEGE when he was 12, and he never got in the papers. His parents didn’t even really care that much, from what I heard, so it’s not like the reporters were getting paid to not run it or something.

43\. People read printed newspapers? High school students??

44\. The editor didn’t get to choose what ran??

45\. Fitz has yesterday’s newspaper

46\. Why did she look at him anyway? There were so many ppl there and I thought she was shy

47\. She can see that it’s her picture from across the museum

48\. Even in black and white?

49\. She can tell the COLOR of his eyes from across the museum

50\. Why does she even notice his eyes? I don’t know what color my friends’ eyes are, let alone a strangers’ that I saw from across a building!!

51\. There are so far only male characters besides Sophie

52\. Umm that she knows his expressions well enough to sense disappointment

53\. FITZ WAS LEANING AGAINST A DISPLAY

54\. He’s a hooligan

55\. He’s going to break something

56\. So did Sophie stare at Fitz the entire time he was walking towards her?

57\. Did he stare back??

58\. How was it not awkward?!

59\. She trusts Fitz because he’s hot. Like Hans from Frozen.

60\. He’s THREE YEARS older than her???????

61\. But a year behind in school lol

62\. What do you mean “why was he talking to her”?? you. Are. In. the. Newspaper. That. He. Is. Holding.

63\. SO MUCH ABOUT EYE COLOR

64\. She’s not even weirded out that he asks about her eyes. Stalker, much?

65\. Elves are kind of eye-color racists

66\. Of course elves have kind of British accents. Of course.

67\. Umm, Sophie, don’t be embarrassed, that’s a legitimate question

68\. Fitz! You’re supposed to be blending in! Stop asking about dinosaurs!

69\. How you can tell if you’re an elf: you’ve had the strange feeling that dinosaurs didn’t look quite like they are portrayed in movies and museums for your whole life.

70\. He never told her his name and he was ready to leave

71\. Kindergarteners aren’t that loud!

72\. Love that a Kindergarten class is going to the same museum as the high school seniors

73\. Why didn’t she realize immediately about his mental voice, or lack thereof? His accent is weird, and she was surprised by it when she heard him speak, even though she shouldn’t have been, because she should have heard it before actually hearing him speak.

74\. Why doesn’t Sophie have more friends? She knows about everyone’s likes, dislikes, problems, and insecurities. She could be THE popular girl at school, all she would need to do is read people’s minds, and she could be the cool one. Somebody’s feeling down about something? She can say that she has the same problem, or help them fix it. She can talk to people about things they’re interested in. Think Edward Cullen from Twilight. Anything he can do, she can do.

75\. Also, she’s an elf, so shouldn’t she be ridiculously hot too?

76\. Why does Sophie hate the word “telepath”? Nobody’s ever called her that, since nobody knows about her problem.

77\. When you’re in a crowd, do y’all sometimes just think really loudly “HEY! HI! I KNOW YOU CAN READ MINDS!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD”?? Has anyone ever done that with Sophie around?

78\. If Fitz was wrong about her being an elf that would’ve been so awkward

79\. Hahaha I love that Sophie is trying to get away but stops because his name sounds stupid

80\. Now we know who “Fitz” from the Preface is. Spoiler, he’s important. Oh, and whenever the preface takes place, an indeterminate amount of time, Sophie still thinks he’s hot. And they’re friends.

81\. Only now are you suspicious of him, Sophie?

82\. It took f o r e v e r for her to start running

83\. Fitz yells “Sophie, come back” instead of oh, I don’t know, following her??

84\. He keeps using her name. To remind readers what it is?

85\. She says she needs air. So she goes outside, where there is “poor air quality”. I thought you were supposed to be smart!! (jk, jk, I don’t hate Sophie)

86\. Why did she stop to consider her impending doom instead of moving?


End file.
